It’s been so long since I wrote. Everyone’s always talking about the benefits of journaling, like it’s the secret to unlocking happiness or solving world peace. Blogging isn’t exactly journaling, but it's still writing. Blogging, journaling, doodling your grocery list... doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you’re putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), it’s soothing for me. Scientifically speaking, they say journaling is one of the most effective coping skills. If that’s true, then my coping skills are basically a superpower at this point.
I tell my clients (yes, I’m still coaching people here and there) that I use ChatGPT for work from time to time, but you have to put in your personal touch, and it depends on what purpose you are writing for. I’ve seen some people use ChatGPT to prepare for job interviews, and an experienced interviewer (like me) can tell right away. That can lower your interview score somewhat.
With that being said, I’m not going to use ChatGPT for my blogging. Maybe I will just ask to correct the grammar without changing anything.
So, many of you are wondering, how have I been?
Well, the last 11 months and 29 days have been a real rollercoaster of life. I know everyone goes through life’s ups and downs, and this is only my own experience. By writing this, I’m not looking for empathy, sympathy, sorrow, or anything. I need to write this for my own good, and if there’s something you can take from my experience, then great!
I’ve been to around 67 doctor’s visits, excluding out network doctor's visit, and acupunctures, plus endless lab work, 4 major MRIs, and 3 investigative procedures to figure out why I am physically ill with different kinds of symptoms. When I say different, I’m talking about something really strange happening to my body. I can't even give you a description of them. I was around 130 pounds in March, 2024 and by my birthday in September, 2024 I was barely weighing 108 pounds. As of today I gained around 10 pounds :) My brother (aka nephew) said, at least you don't have a problem about loosing weight, and we had a good laugh together.
Maybe writing down the specialists I’ve seen will give you some sort of general picture of my strange symptoms.
I am so thankful to my primary care doctor, Dr. Varma, who has been connecting all the dots and coordinating my wonderful team of specialists.
Other specialists I’ve seen are:
GI doctor, OB-GYN, Immunologist, Allergist, Neurologist, Physiatrist, PT, Spine specialist, Rheumatologist, Acupuncturist.
It was tremendously helpful that 3 of these doctors have known me for over a decade. This means they know my history and my body.
When you have a range of ongoing, fluctuating symptoms, specialists rule out potential causes within their respective fields, one by one. They exchange opinions, and each doctor on the team has access to all test results to ensure a comprehensive approach.
By the time October 2024 came around, while some of my symptoms got better, another new symptom started. By Halloween 2024, I felt like my full-time job was going to doctor's appointments, labs, and making appointments for my next visit. I was still pushing through, working full time, mainly calling in sick to work.
Exactly from November 1st, my body slowly started to shut down, and the days I couldn’t pull myself out of bed increased. One of the new symptoms was so painful that it left me unable to move around. Luckily, the treatment plan for that particular symptom worked like magic for two weeks. Despite all other symptoms not responding to any treatments my doctors were trying, I was so grateful that I wasn’t bedridden.
I didn’t have much accrued sick time or any vacation through my full time job. Plus, all the medications I was trying started to give side effects by this time, which added more physical illness to my condition. I can’t blame my doctors for it because I was desperate to find a cure.
At this point, my doctor put me on an unpaid leave of absence from work starting in December.
If you saw me between April 2024 and November 2024, and I looked fine and functioning, those days were my better days. Maybe those were my miracle days when my body somehow appeared normal on the outside. Maybe those were days when some of my medications worked, or my acupuncture doctor helped take the edge off.
The mysterious and strange part of my journey is that I had no idea how I would feel the next day or even the next hour. It was difficult—very difficult—to plan things and run our life. I had no idea when I would feel better or when my pain would be worse. Here are some of the medications my doctors put me on in the hope that they would lessen the pain and provide relief: gabapentin, celecoxib, antibiotics, steroid inhalers, shots, prednisone, painkillers (1000 mg, 3 times a day), a series of antibody vaccines, and topical creams to numb my pain, along with herbs, supplements, and a strict FODMAP diet.
During this time, the most wonderful and most patient person I have ever met on earth was my dearest husband. He took on everything with grace and compassion while I dealt with my new journey.
He is carrying the full financial responsibility for our life. He was doing ALL the family errands, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of 2 kids while maintaining his full-time job, without complaining once. My husband aged 5 years in 11 months!
Since seeing an immunologist, I started to get some answers and began some treatment, which added more appointments.
Besides my husband and kids, (remotely my sisters, nieces and nephews like my own siblings my mom), uncle Bob, auntie Joan, and a few of my friends, my son's preschool principal and her staff really helped me get through the hardest days.
When I heard things like, “Oh, probably you’re not exercising, maybe not eating well,” it annoyed me so much. You have no idea how much I’ve been trying everything and anything possible to feel better.
Just listen without trying to solve the problem, just do something without saying "let me know if I can help with anything", make them laugh. And if someone you care goes silent, please reach out and check in with them, and simply text "Im thinking of you" - That's all they need.
I’ve always believed that even though the worst things happen in life, there is always, always one good thing that comes out of it. This time, I learned something really important. I can’t explain what it is today, but maybe one day, maybe I’ll be able to put it into words and share it with you all. However, unless you go through it yourself, I’m not so sure if you’ll benefit from my experience though.
Learning from experience is something you have to learn all by yourself.
Today, I’m not 100% healed, but I’m definitely on the road to recovery, and my life has changed forever. I may not be able to pursue a full-time corporate job anytime soon, at least not in the near future. Speaking of jobs, there’s often confusion between a job and a career. People love to mix them up, like confusing a casual fling with true love.
As a career coach and HR professional, I've learned something important. Having a full-time job isn’t the same as having a career. A career is something you do for a living, whether you’re getting paid enough to buy that fancy coffee or not. Can you imagine my all time favorite oat milk latte costs $8 around here! And the size is small.
A career is something you can’t just drop in the middle of.
For example, imagine you’re in a meeting at work and you suddenly need to take care of something non-work-related. If you just walk out, that’s not a career- that’s a job. A career demands commitment, and sometimes, that means showing up, even when life outside the business gets... well, chaotic.
For now, being a healthy mother is my career, and everything else is either a part-time job or a gig. Oh, and if I don’t change my title from "Career Coach" to "Job/Career Coach," I’ll basically be a walking contradiction. But hey, it doesn’t matter. I’m still taking clients, hypocrisy be darned! And, just for kicks, I’m also a part-time HR consultant for Good Carma Consulting. Yes, you read that right—Carma with a "K." Because who wouldn’t want a little good karma in the workplace? Who knows, maybe my good carma will turn into a career someday.
I’m so grateful to the founder and CEO of Good Carma Consulting, Cara, for being there for me throughout my challenging health journey, and for making me feel like a person throughout it all. I was able to work only when I was feeling better, which made her support all the more valuable.
It's not about how much I was making, it's about feeling useful, heard, and understood.
Anyway, within the past 11 months and 29 days, my life has changed forever. But honestly? For the better. Literally, the best.
